I want...

I almost don't believe it. This semester has been a blur. I don't know how to make it slow down and I can't remember a time when it is gone by so quickly. Little T will be a year this summer and yet I feel as though I was just pregnant - was just fretting over prelims - was just at the hospital - was just looking back and forth at Mr. T and Little T when we first got home from the hospital thinking, "what now?" Here I am trying to figure it all out and trying to be okay with not knowing it all. And that's okay. Since I can't slow down time, I need to figure out what I want to do with my time. Perhaps I will start small and think about this summer...summer starting pretty much now.

• I want to slow down a bit and take in Little T and all that she is. I want to pay special attention to her as she changes each day. I don't want to miss a thing.
  
• I want to immerse myself in reading, writing, and research.
  
• I want to begin to unfold the phenomenon that I am so interested in.
  
• I want to sink my toes in the warm sand and lie on the beach becoming one with it all perhaps with a cold drink in my hand.
  
• I want to visit with family and friends and take time for life.
  
• I want to hold hands with Mr. T and just be present.
  
• I want...

I wonder what you want?

it's been a while

It's been over a month since I've blogged or commented on anyone's blogs although I've managed to keep up with reading of blogs. Things have been a bit hectic to say the least. A lot has happened in my little world and I am a bit overwhelmed by it all. Mr. T is still out of town. Little T and I are figuring out life with just the two of us. We don't know how long we will be in this situation and are grateful that Mr. T is able to come home on most weekends. He wasn't able to come home this past weekend and I miss him terribly. I feel bad that he is missing Little T do all of these wonderfully marvelous things (e.g. she is pulling up and handing me a particular toy I ask for), and I know he is lonely in Workville. His project has been extended another month. He is looking into other possibilities as well.

I went to bed early Friday - I forgot how refreshing it is to sleep an uninterrupted 8 hours. It was well worth it! I had some girlfriends over for dinner and drinks Saturday (they brought dinner) and just hung out with Little T all weekend. I was dragged to a spin class on Sunday and it felt wonderful!!!! They have childcare through a sitting service and Little T enjoyed playing with the other children. I didn't get any work done all weekend. Part of me is upset by this but part of me is just happy to have my head above the water. I think I am going to look into figuring out how to make time to work out a couple times a week - I have to figure out the childcare situation and the logistics of actually finding and giving time but I really need this.

I will not be defending my prospectus as planned. I really really want to do it before summer but it is not possible to make all the revisions and get it to my chair by the end of this week. So I will move my defense to the first of the fall semester and work on all the other things that need be in shape before I can really move onto the phase.

I was nominated for an award in my program and am excited about being nominated. I lined up a couple of friends to come hang out with Little T while I am at the reception. Last year I was hugely pregnant and Mr. T and I had a wonderful time at the reception and then at dinner afterward. It will be lonely going by myself, but I will fill Mr. T in on all the details later.

There are a lot of other things going on but that's all for now. Until then an exhausted but excited TMP is signing off.