Talk with Major Prof

I spoke with my major prof and feel much better. I talked about all of my concerns and feelings, etc and she assured me that I am on the right track and doing well.

During that conversation we also talked about life and happiness and living life the best that we can. I somewhat lost sight of where I am going and why I want to go into academia. Sometimes it just takes a short conversation including support and confidence to get back on track. Thanks, major prof.

Yesterday's Post

Okay, so reading my post from yesterday I realized that I was in a bad mood. My friend does do things herself, I guess I just get frustrated sometimes hearing it all the time. I wish she would take some responsibility. Maybe I am being defensive because it took this same friend who had an awful first draft (her major prof wouldn't even read past the first page) just a few weeks to get a finished third draft of one chapter and I am sitting here on my third draft with no end in sight. Just being whiny. Sigh...

I must admit that writing out my feelings does make me feel better whether it is whiny or not.

Tired of it!

Okay, this will be brief, but I am tired of people making comments about how hard their major prof is and how "raw" the major prof is and how everything is so critical and they think that the mountains of feedback they get on things is because of their major prof is so hard and not because they need to work on their own shit. The whole "my professor is harder than yours" is really tiresome and annoying and not true in my opinion. I believe that each major prof is hard in their own way with their own students. My major prof for example doesn't stay on my ass to do things. It is my own fault if I take my own sweet time and mess things up. If I'm not motivated then it is my problem and I will face whatever consequences come from it. My friend's major prof stays on her all to get things in all the time. She doesn't do it on her own.

Annoying. That is all.

Lots of Feedback!

I received a lot of really great feedback on my prospectus, but I will be honest that it took me a few days to get over all of it. I left feeling overwhelmed and upset. It wasn't that it was that bad and my adviser said there was a lot of improvement, but I guess I wasn't expecting that much stuff to have to revise. I am ready to jump in and get to the next step, but I'm really not ready I guess. It is hard. But I'm over it now. After reading through it again and replaying the conversation we had, I see all of it more clearly. I "get" the changes (haha - I think I do). I'm almost finished with the first chapter of revisions and working on one of the other chapters. So onward we go.

life updates

Vacation was awesome and relaxing.

Meeting with adviser and getting feedback on numerous things including dissertation stuff on Friday <-- YAY!!!!!

Little T is taking steps and has moved up in her school to the next room. She seems to really be thriving there. She is really funny and very fun to be around and is like a sponge. I find myself laughing all the time. It feels really good.

Mr. T and I are adjusting well to being back together. I really miss him this week - he has 4 day training and is out of town. Makes me grateful to have him home most of the time. Life just makes more sense when we are in the same place at the same time.