An Annoyance!

I've been sick the last few days and am starting to get over it so perhaps I am a bit more irritated than usual but...I get really annoyed when people cut corners and I am working my butt off doing things the proper way. Some of my fellow PhD students want to collect data and conduct research for their dissertation before they even write their proposals and get committee approval. Aside from the fact that they might end up doing work that might not get approval from their committee, thus wasting their time and their participants’ time (although the work could be used as a pilot), why do they insist on doing things their way? I guess the problem is that they see other students doing this with permission of their major profs…sure go ahead and collect your data – do your study and then they don’t understand why they can’t do it. Maybe in some instances the major prof gives the okay? Otherwise, why would the major prof okay something like that? I don’t know enough about it I guess. I can see instances when it might be okay to start collecting the data, but at the same time I don’t understand it. That is all.

When will you be finished?

People (friends/family/anyone who knows I'm getting a PhD) keep asking me when I will be finished and it is really tiring to both Mr. T and I. I don't know what to say anymore. I've been saying a year or two for the last year or so. Several people look at me and say, well you did have a baby - (what the hell does that mean anyway?!?). Others ask why it is taking so long and I want to grab them and shake them and say I'm getting a PhD not a blizzard from the Dairy Queen - geez it's not so easy! Plus it's not really cut and dry. There are so many factors. I was hoping to turn in my proposal chapters by the end of September, but that is only in a few days. Mr. T told me not to expect to defend my proposal chapters until next semester, then if it happens earlier I will be excited! But in reality I will be upset if it takes this long.

Sigh...I wish I could answer their questions. I wish I actually knew the answer. But I don't.

Fight the guilt!

I just looked up and saw the post-it on my bulletin board with these words scribbled on it. I remember sitting with my advisor and her telling me to "fight the guilt!"

Awesome Research Group

We have an informal research group that started up in my program this semester and I am LOVING it! It got somewhat heated as we chatted about methods/ethics and so on. I miss it. I enjoyed being part of a group – reminded me of class. We read – we talk – me likes!

Almost 1 month~

Wow - it has been almost a month since I last posted.

My new blogging goal - to post and comment weekly.

Since we last talked...I've started saying "no" more often but not enough. I am getting ready to say "no" to something I just got emailed. It feels good. Family weddings are out of the way for the time being and we won't be traveling until Thanksgiving hopefully! Yippee!!! I am part of a research group and it feels good. We read and chat about research - others - our own - all of it feels good. Connects me to my fellow peeps. It gets lonely sometimes when you are no longer taking classes. Speaking of school...I am still writing and revising but perhaps I am getting closer. No, let me rephrase -I am getting closer!

Stop saying Yes~!

I just read this essay from Higher Education Chronicle and thought it was really interesting. I have a really hard time saying no, but recently my major prof told me I need to start saying "no" so I can focus on my own interests, dissertation, and research. I've done a ton of service in our program and have taken on so many extra opportunities that are great, but it is time to refocus. Of course family and loved ones are first. Then my dissertation. Then my other research projects. Then my assistantship and other stuff I guess. Of course the assistantship gets moved up sometimes because without it I wouldn't have my tuition covered. But overall I've started to say "no" to things. I was asked to do a task recently that would have required a lot of work on my part and it would have been just to help some other students (it was being a mentor for a comps study group). I really want to help others, but the amount of work they were asking of me was insane. I declined, gave them some suggestions, and told them I could answer questions if needed. Then I gave them some resources and went on my way. I am also bowing out of being in a leadership role after my term is up because as much as I want to stay on, I just don't have the time. So I will help when I can - volunteer to be a part of the group still - but overall, I just have to say no. This is true in my personal life as well, but I'm getting better at it.

The point is that I am starting to say no. Now do I have guilt about saying no, well that is another story.

I wonder why I...

feel bad for asking for money people owe me or for stuff that people borrowed. I don't ask unless I need it back for some reason or if I need the money, etc. But I hate the I feel guilty asking for MY stuff back.

The money thing really bugs me. I paid for the hotel room for my sister's bachelorette party. Two people gave me checks - two cash. I am awaiting the other check - she buggered out early before she could give it to me and said she would mail it in a text. This was a pretty expensive hotel that Mr. T got for an awesome deal by playing the "I stay in these hotels all the time" card. Finally, almost two weeks later I had to ask her for the check. I wish she wouldn't have put me in that position to even ask because then I feel bad that I am asking my friend for money. But on the same note, I can't afford to pay her way.

I hope I haven't done this or don't do this to anyone. I know I forget to give people back their stuff sometimes and when they ask I always feel bad but for the most part I don't forget. And I always pay people. But I don't want people to think I'm petty or anal about money, etc.