Teaching: Rookie Mistakes and First Day Fun!

I really enjoyed my first day teaching and even wore some of the new clothes I bought and discussed a few weeks ago. I looked and felt great and overall the class went really well. The students were quieter than I expected and not as interactive as I expected but it was the first day.  Their interaction levels did increase though. I could see the overwhelmed look in their eyes and tried to scale things back a bit. I made a couple of rookie mistakes. It’s been a while since I’ve taught so I think I'm just a little rusty :)

The first mistake I made was making the assumption that they would know how to use the learning management system and be familiar enough with it to know where to locate links and folders I discussed in class. I have a mixture of freshman and sophomores, even a couple of juniors. 

The second mistake I made was not doing enough of the “who are you” and “get to know you” type activities. Most of the grad students I’ve taught knew each other so I kept it basic. Big mistake…I need to figure out how to do this in the next class without it seeming so obvious. Any ideas? I need to figure out a baseline as well, which I should have done the first day. This I’ve got figured out for the next class. Aside from not knowing the LMS, they don’t know other stuff I anticipated either. So I’ve already done a couple of things to address the gap but I need a better idea of this.

The last mistake I made was forgetting to give them a break (in a 3 hour class) and not remembering that some students may not feel comfortable just getting up to go to the bathroom or whatever in the middle of class.

Since I want to leave on a positive note, I will mention a few things that I did right because even with the mistakes, I think the class went well and the students seem excited.

• I think I got it across that texting and other disruptive behavior were not tolerated. We will see, but I am going to be optimistic.
• The students seemed excited overall and came up with some great ideas and answers to my questions.
• I knew when enough was enough and that cognitive load meltdown was approaching.
• My students appear to be comfortable with me and have already talked to me outside of class about things they are struggling with and are concerned about related to the class. Oh my the questions so far. 
• I recognized that the way I was teaching something was not working and made changes on the spot, which worked for the students and lead to successful performance in the end.

How TigerMom got her groove on (well is trying to figure it out at least)

So apparently I need to get back into the groove of things because I've been so swamped that I haven't taken the time to write the many posts that currently live in my head. With teaching, data collection, and PT added to my normal schedule I've got to figure out how to get back into a routine that works for everyone.

But the good news is that everything is going well.

In a nutshell...

• Data collection moving along nicely
• Teaching is going well although I made a couple of rookie mistakes (more on this later)
• Physical training taking place and seems to be going well
• Only a handful of late nights last week although after only a few hours of sleep many days in a row I gave out Monday night and did nothing. 
• Spent one weekend day working all day, which I've been avoiding lately. At least it wasn't both days.
• Spending time with family this weekend...not sure how traveling is going to fit in just yet.
• I miss my bloggie friends and need to blog more often
• Exercise levels up a tiny bit and goal weight reach!

First of the semester excitement!

I love it! I am so excited to be teaching because it gets me back into "back to school" mode after not having classes the last couple of semesters. I can't wait to get in the rhythm of things and to get organized, which always takes me a few weeks.

Of course I also get teary-eyed at all the freshman with their parents. Brings back so many fond memories and now that I'm a parent it makes me even more sentimental.

Three good things

Decided I wanted to end on a positive note today so I am going to mention three positive things from my day:

1. I received great news regarding my dissertation study, which lead to me breaking out in my happy dance. I was getting nervous about a couple of things so this news was reassuring.
2. I gave a friend a ride and had delightful conversation and catch-up time. 
3. I was home in time to read, say prayers, and snuggle with Little T.

Beer & Bowling

Mr. T and I had a very much needed date night this past weekend. Free babysitting (thanks to a dear friend), a couple of coupons for bowling, and gift certificate to one of our favorite restaurants made the night budget friendly and so much fun.

We had popcorn and beer while we bowled and it reminded me of when we first started dating...except in high school it was popcorn and cigs. Then we headed to dinner where we had more beer and shared dinner. It was one of the best nights we've had in a long time. I had a little bit of a headache the next morning, but it was worth it.


I - we need more nights like this. More time to just be with each other outside of home where all we can think about is everything we need to do. We need to put us on the list and that is exactly what we did. We went out and had fun - we goofed off and just enjoyed each others' company and the special connection that we've had since we first started dating so long ago.

Oh my: Update

Part one of the update...likeliness of getting an academic job for next year. So I thought about things most of the day. Actually, talked to my advisor about the likelihood of even being able to apply for jobs considering that it will take me quite some time to collect and analyze my data. She suggested (and this is what Mr. T suggested last night) that I see what is out there job-wise and familiarize myself with the process and then if the most perfect job comes along go for it. But realistically by the time I would apply in the fall I would still be too ABD to be able to give them a solid defense date. So I go about collecting data and working on my dissertation, and I don't worry about rushing through things just to get a job when all of the jobs won't even be available to me. 

Part two of the update...the baby. We want another child but just haven't been sure as to when. I know that although I've been itching to have another one, I'm not sure I'm ready yet. Last year Mr. T and I talked about it and figured we would approach the subject when I saw how far along I was in my dissertation after this semester. But after thinking about it today, we both think that maybe sooner is better than later for a variety of reasons. Of course it may take longer this time and it is not really possible to plan. Plus, I don't know if it matters that I have the bulging and ruptured discs in my back. But maybe in a couple of months we will be ready. During our lunch date, Mr. T said that God has our plan figured out and that we just need to listen for it and not worry so much about it not happening the way we think it should.

So here we are.

I am no longer worrying and trying to plan everything. Well, I am trying my best not to worry and plan to the last detail.

I am going to be open to the changes that comes with life.

I am listening.

Oh my!

Last night...out of the blue Mr. T inquired about having another baby AND the likelihood of me being able to apply for academic jobs this year.

Leaving it at that for now as I still haven't quite recovered...

Confidence

I started this post as a comment on one of my other posts and the topic started to turn to confidence. Instilling confidence in a child cannot be an easy thing and I don't think there is really a right or wrong way. When I teach I try to give my students opportunities to be successful. I may scaffold examples or problems and fade guidance thus building their confidence that they can succeed at a task. I give opportunities to “fail” or to make mistakes via practice. I believe it is important that children (really all people) have room to make mistakes, learn from their mistakes, and have a chance to try again. But they need to have a chance to do the task by themselves otherwise they will feel they are always reliant on others to succeed. I am terrified of failure and when I fail at something I have a hard time with it. But I have learned that this is a normal part of life and that it is okay to fail as long as I learn from the experience. Of course I still do my best not to fail, and I am still working on this challenge. I also believe that it is important to model these things, and I strive to be a good role model for Little T and for my learners. If I can’t do something, instead of getting frustrated, I try to remember that Little T is watching me and that she will learn from how I handle the situation. If I totally crap out and do something I wouldn't want to model, I explain to her what happened (e.g. mommy lost her temper and got ticked off at the X but that doesn't excuse her behavior. Next time instead of getting mad that I can't do X, I will...). When she gets frustrated because she can’t do something, I let her know that it is okay to ask for help or to have someone show her how to do something (especially if she doesn’t have the motor skills to do something- like tie her shoe). But if she can do something, I encourage her to try again or to try a different way or to move onto a different part and come back to it (when doing a puzzle for example). I also think that a large part of how we instill confidence in people has to do with personality. Things that work for one person may not work for another. Maybe I will talk about this more later. 

How did you become a confident person? How do you instill confidence in your children? Students? Mentees?

Retail Therapy

So it turns out that retail therapy was really what I needed yesterday...combined with venting here and meeting Mr. T for lunch at one of our favorite restaurant (this amazing little Cuban place).

I ended up with some great deals yesterday and came back in a great mood and feeling great about myself. You see, for the first time in a long time I enjoyed trying on clothes. Everything fit wonderfully, and I never once thought that I didn't like something because of my size or the muffin top or whatever. I didn't like things because they just weren't for me. I am curvy and I always will be...I love my curves actually. But before I got pregnant I needed to lose 10lbs. I was "overweight" if you go by the recommendations for height. Then, although I lost most of my pregnancy weight, those 10lbs sat differently - looked differently. So now those 10lbs are gone along with 10 more and I am where I was in college. Size-wise I am bigger than college, but once again I am older and my body is different now that I've had a baby.

I ended up with:

• A black suit from Target (on clearance $30!)
• A cute summer dress from Target (on clearance $12)
• Some skinny leg pants (Target - on clearance - haven't decided if I want to keep them $12)
• Several tops from Express (many on sale and those not on sale use coupon for discount - can wear all with suits or skirt/pants and some can also be dressed down for casual wear)
• Black pencil suit skirt from Express to go with Target jacket (not on sale but I know I will get good use out of it and can wear teaching, conferences, etc without the jacket - did apply coupon though)
• Light gray suit from Express (not on sale but did apply coupon and much cheaper)
• Dark gray suit pants from Express (clearance for $17!)

And when I came home I went through my closet and found some items (not professional) but everyday cloths I can fit into now.  I am going to get my mom to hem the suit pants when we head home next.

Balancing appearance

So it turns out that just writing about my pity party made me feel a little better. I am not going to say all my feelings are gone, but I don't feel like crying any longer. 

So I am going to run a couple of errands and go to the Express and look at their suits (or professional clothing -we were told to look as if we were going into an interview everyday of the internship program) and then meet Mr. T for lunch. Other suggestions for suits and professional clothing stores are greatly appreciated. I like to look stylish but professional. I also want to be able to wear the clothes several times so not too trendy if that makes sense.

Also, I noticed today that when I started feeling better I wanted to put on a cute outfit (which I did) and that doing so made me feel better. But I like to look nice - put-together - and yes sometimes pretty. For me personally, when I look better I am more confident. This made me feel a little guilty as I don't like to dwell on appearance and want Little T to know that looks aren't everything, but I do feel better when I dress nicely or take time on how I look. How do I balance this? I want to be a positive role model for her, especially since there are so many negative influences on little girls growing up now-a-days.

Pity Party for 1

I haven't been around this week because I am in a funk. My back is hurting, and I'm not sleeping because Mr. T is home and our bed isn't really big enough for me to sleep so my back doesn't hurt and my hand doesn't go numb. But I don't want to sleep separately. I worked my butt off early in the summer to make some decent money on top of normal stuff and am watching it quickly disappear for medical bills, which have only just begun. For the first time since starting school I have money that I made for dissertation stuff and professional clothes, etc and yet a large chunk of it is going toward medical bills. We share money and I know it really doesn't matter who makes money and I am grateful that we actually have the extra money this year, but it sucks that I have to spend it in this way. And although there are many great things going on (I will be an instructor the next two semesters, Mr. T is going on a trip out West with me for a conference in October, and the awesome internship conference program), I still just want to cry. And I've been thinking a lot about babies lately. Probably because so many people around me are pregnant and having babies, but I need my back to get better so I can get pregnant in the spring if I want. And I think it makes it even harder because I try to focus on the positive and am disappointed that I'm not doing so. I am tired. And sad. And in a funk all around.

The good thing is that this week is light...I'm going shopping today to look for suits and other professional clothes - need an entire week's worth for the internship program. Suggestions for great stuff that isn't going to break the bank? I saw a cute one at Express so I'm going to check it out and see what I think. I want something I will actually wear again but that I can also wear to interviews.

The Single Life

The title of this post is a bit misleading. By “single life” I am referring to how I revert back to some of my single ways of life when Mr. T is out of town. Of course I now have a toddler to take care of so I don’t fall into all of my old habits but some of them naturally fall back into place. For example, I am not the neatest person. I am organized but messy (not dirty…just messy). When Mr. T is out of town, I don’t always do the dishes right away or I might sit in bed and eat while reading magazines from the last several months. I might eat random things for dinner like pickles, sautéed veggies, and peanut butter on celery. Mr. T knows about these behaviors and I didn’t change who I am when we got married, but I do try to be understanding of the fact that he really dislikes dirty dishes in the sink (he does them a good portion of the time so I don’t mind sharing in this chore) and that he thinks that eating in bed leads to crumbs in bed (it doesn’t if you are careful, and I still eat non-crumby food in bed when he is home). Just like he does certain things differently since he knows they bother me. We both went into it knowing that you can’t change a person when you get married and we do not expect any changes in behavior, but we both realize that there are two of us in this relationship. We are open about things like this and it has worked for us for over 4 years. We know that we aren’t perfect and that we are different people with different quirks. When he is home, I usually don’t have time to sit in bed and watch Friends re-runs and read magazines that I’m months behind on. I usually want to spend any extra time (haha - what's this?!?!) I may have with him.

I wonder if he falls back into single-life behaviors, such as these, when I am out of town? Do you all fall back into single behaviors when your partner is out of town?

Test Results

I met with my orthopedic doctor to review the results from the two MRIs and the nerve tests. Although I had some of my results from the nerve tests, my orthopedic doctor looks at everything together to determine what has been causing my neck and back pain over the last year or so.

My neck MRI looked great - I have a healthy neck, which is wonderful. 

As the neurologist said I have significant nerve damage or a pinched nerve in my left ulnar nerve (elbow) and mild pinched nerve in my wrist (mild carpal tunnel) which both he and my orthopedic doctor believe can be reversible although surgery may be necessary in my elbow if it doesn't get better otherwise the muscles in my dominant hand will continue to weaken. I have ordered an ergonomic keyboard and try to sleep differently (which means I don't curl my arms under me). But  I haven't slept well since I stopped trying to do this so I don't know how long I will be able to keep that up. I also try not to put pressure on my elbows or wrists and instead on my forearms. Now that I pay attention to this, I realize I do this often. Since the last time I saw the orthopedic doctor, I am already stronger in that hand which is a good sign that just being conscious of not putting pressure on my elbow is helping. Hopefully, after the keyboard comes in this will continue to get better. My left two fingers still go numb and ache a little but they haven't locked up this week, which I take as a good sign.

My lower back MRI revealed that I have a ruptured or herniated disc in the very lower end of my back, which is why I keep feeling pain in my hip/lower back area and the tingling and sensitivity in my left leg. Before we talk surgery, he wants me to get some intense physical therapy and rehab to strengthen my lower and middle back, which should help to heal the disc (and another one that is bulging higher up). I will go back and see him in three months. 

 

My orthopedic doctor was wonderfully hopeful, and I had another great experience with him. I am grateful that Mr. T convinced me to see a doctor and that both of the doctors are hopeful.

I'm home

I got home late in the afternoon on Saturday and was pretty busy just hanging out with Little T and Mr. T that evening and the next day. The funeral was so sad. I ended up taking food and really spent much of the time helping to entertain family and friends that were there as well as help with my friend's child and her sibling's children.  I also spent a lot of time talking to my friend and just being there for her. I decided to just step in and help out as I could. My friend wanted me to stay with them, and I was always treated like family so I acted as such. It was interesting seeing how different people grieve. It also made me think about my own life.  So today I am busy catching up on time spent away from school. Mr. T is out of town this week and I really miss him.